All other ground is sinking sand

One could say that by the end of my junior year I had it all figured out. I successfully completed one of my most challenging academic semesters. I ran my first ever half-marathon. I was elected President of my student organization. I was also accepted into a highly competitive internship. I could go on and on (in case you didn't catch on - I'm in no doubt struggling with pride issues), but I'll stop right there. It seemed as though everything was going according to plan and senior year was lining up to be perfect and worry-free. But one could have argued that I was building my foundation on sand.

I guess it would be an understatement to say I struggled with my faith this summer. The first two months went great. I had active conversations with God, I prayed, I read, I wrote, I sought and I shared. But then I noticed a slight shift in my priorities. First of all, worked picked up and I saw that I spent less and less time not only with God but also with community.

Secondly, the pressure of exceeding expectations at my job meddled with my mind. For those of you who don't know my background; I grew up in an international school in South East Asia and ever since I was a little girl my parents have told me that my 'game plan' was to get a job here. So you can imagine where my mind wandered off to during the middle of the day when I started to map out my own future - I imagined all the possibilities. I would no longer be in debt. I could lavish my friends, family and myself with gifts. I would get to travel. I'd be successful. All my hard work and my family's dedication and sacrifice was paying off.

I started centering my life around corporate success. I bragged about the benefits and lavish lifestyle. I became more boastful and proud. I stopped going to church and closed my Bible shut. I was too tired to go to Church. I didn't have time to pray, sleep was more important. All the goals I set this summer to strengthen my relationship with God no longer mattered. To anyone who's reading this who's not a Christian (or any religion for that matter), I'm not saying that corporate success is a bad thing nor is it a bad goal to have. I'm merely saying that according to my values and beliefs, which were to center my life around God, I built my foundation on things that the Lord saw as unstable. Here's what the Bible reads:

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and fell with a great crash." (Matthew 7:24-27)

I still remember that very day when I realized that I had to do the job search all over again. To a certain degree, everything I built my foundation on for this summer - money, success, stability and security - was stripped away from me. I was forced to ask myself, "What am I left with?" God has blessed me in so many ways, but there might come a day when I wake up and realize that I've lost everything. What will happen when I lose not only my job, but also my friends and family? Will I be able to still stand tall?

You see, the reason I sought God in the first place was because I knew it would be impossible to avoid disappointment or failure. I believe that we'll never truly stop reaching and exhausting ourselves to exceed standards. But with God, I know that I'll never be a disappointment to Him, even though I may fail at pursuing Him righteously. I realized that God was teaching me the importance of building my foundation on the rock, so that if I had to face a day when I've truly lost everything, I'll still be able to stand tall and say, "I have God."

"On Christ the solid rock I stand, 
All other ground is sinking sand."

- My Hope is Built on Nothing Less