What does it mean to be "a Christian"

"Someone once told me, if you love God, you would want to start living the way God wants you to live. Not because you had to, but because you wanted to. But if I'm not ready to live that way just yet, does that mean I don't love God?"

"No. It means you're human."

I had an awesome lunch date today with this awesome gal (let's just call her Alice) and we pretty much just talked about God. We specifically talked about the rights that God has over us and defined what it means to be a Christian.

When I first accepted God into my life I had no idea what being a Christian meant. All I knew was that I felt empty, broken, sinful, sad, damaged, and in a desperate need of someone to help me. That someone was God (1). One morning, when I was at the most dejected state of my life I felt an overwhelming presence of this "being." I can't explain it in words but I felt as though someone was reaching out to me and telling me, "you're not alone." I didn't have to do anything to deserve this being's love. It was there and it was reaching out to me.

Alice told me that's the first step of being "Christian." You acknowledge that people are sinful (For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God - Romans 3:23),  and God has a plan to save us from sin (In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins - 1 John 4:10).

Then what? What came next wasn't so easy.
I confused christianity with culture.
I thought having doubt and questions meant that christianity wasn't real.
I thought I was alone in my struggles.
I didn't understand this concept of "pursuing a relationship with God."
It's as if I was telling everybody that Bon Jovi was my favorite musician when the only track I knew was "Livin' on a Prayer."

Alice told me that was the hard part.
"When we enter into a relationship with God we’re basically adopted," she said.
(But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God - John 1:12).

That is the path I am now. I am pursuing a relationship with God.
And since so many people refer to that phrase, I'll try to rephrase it in my own terms:
I want to know more about who he is and who his son was.
I now look to God when I'm having a bad day.
I talk to him (a lot) in my head.
I talk to him (not as much) outloud.
I sing to him (A LOT).
I ask about him (A LOT).
I question his existence from time to time.
I cry because of him from time to time.
I get angry at him.
I sometimes turn my back on him.
I pray to him.
I thank him.
I ask him for favors.

Here's a little logic lesson I teach myself when in doubt:
If God didn't exist, the anger, gratitude, atonement and love I feel towards this "being" then can't be real. But since these feelings ARE real, and because I KNOW and FEEL it's real, then God must be real. And essentially, developing these feelings for someone, growing in friendship and beginning to love someone, is what building a relationship is all about. Therefore, I must be developing a relationship with God (2).

That to me, is what it means to be a Christian.