Leadership is a Game of Poker

An executive told me that leadership is like a game of poker. You observe the cards, you observe those around you - the blatantly obvious, the hard-to-read - and when the opportunity is ripe, you seize the chance on your own terms.

Leadership is the same way in that when you come into a work place, you first mainly observe. You observe the field you're in, you observe the work place, and you observe the people. You relate all your assignments to the bigger picture, and when the opportunity comes, you seize that chance to move your organization in the right direction.

It's hard for a 9-week intern to think that he or she has the competence to make a change in this organization. A definite challenge for me was to think, "How can I make a difference in this organization?" We've been talking about the "plus one" concept for a while now, and it's something that I've integrated into my tasks for many jobs. I see myself asking questions and initiating tasks. I see forming valuable relationships. I see making a difference in a finite sense - making graphs, analyzing data, creating presentations - but will that be enough? How am I measuring that "difference?"

But as my friend told me, I need to make this internship mine. Forget the assignments, the "impress your mentor" guidelines, but observe this internship and see how I can truly enjoy it and get the most out of it.

One thing I look forward to is a meeting with my mentor for Wednesday's lunch. I want to ask my mentor more questions. He's in Florida at the moment, but when he comes back on Wednesday, I'm holding my executive interview with him. I would love to ask him more questions. The feedback I got from him before definitely added to the finite experience (or "vocational" experience as he put it). I want to talk in terms of an infinite experience. I want to come back to what another mentor told me a few weeks ago, and that was he wanted me to initiate. If I wanted to get involved with something, initiate - because that's the only way I'll get the most out of this experience.

It's been a long 4 weeks of poker. You see, I don't want to be the one that leaves the game early. Nor do I want to be the one that wins and then retires. I want to be the one who comes back to play each time.

Are you ready to grow your baby?

"Your business if your baby."

This is one of the taglines for Design at Work, a local Houston advertising company. So what's with the random baby?

Two years ago, I sent my resume out to a myriad of Houston advertising companies. I heard back from Design at Work, only to hear that their small size of the company limited their ability to hire interns.

Today, I found out that our marketing department works closely with this organization for their case studies and summit messages. After Dustin's site visit last week, I couldn't help but feel as though this was my chance. I asked the Director of Marketing if I could take part in their August campaign. It incorporated money growing on trees, and our company would help nurture that growth. I was so excited to see front and center what it would be like to work on a campaign, I was ECSTATIC to hear that I could work along on this project till August.

That's not the only reason I'm writing tonight. Dustin told me last week that my laidback personality could be a strength, but also serve as a crutch to this mentorship experience. He warned me not to let these 8 weeks just flow by, but to seize opportunities and really get much out of this internship. I was able to apply this philosophy to everything I did. So much of the things I do, I make decisions based on what have been done before, or what others think I should do. I never go with my gut instinct (unless I'm working alone) nor do I ever go for things. Yet I say I like to "live in the moment." I constantly worry what others think, and I get so bogged down to that idea I forget to put myself first.

I'm taking an opportunity this summer to really know how to not let opportunities slide. Yes, it might take some risks here and there, but I think it's fun when all turns out well. I'm not saying I'm a baby - although metaphorically I may be, with regards to the number of risks I've taken thus far. Either way, I think it's time for me to grow.

A minute for a story

One of my friends writes for the Standard. She did this thing once where she took a sign that read, "I'll give you a dollar for your story." - Long story short, she ended up collecting 20 stories. Wonderful tales - people from different backgrounds, life experiences, adventures, mentalities.... Going off from that - I made it a goal for this summer to get to know people more. So I told myself when given the chance, I will ask someone to tell me something about them. Not the usual - what do you do? how do you like it here? etc. But something that tells me a lot more about them.

Take Bob* the office guy. He's got beautiful blonde hair. Probably in his mid 20s. If I ever see him pass by he always does that head-bob "hello." I was getting coffee today and he was there (as usual) stacking all the coffee, tea, fruits and snacks. I'm thinking in my head, what's a young good-lookin' (don worry, blondes aren't my type) guy doing here as an office supplier? He noticed that I was walking strange (knee got busted this weekend from biking). We got into a good conversation about biking and what he did on weekends. I asked him how long he worked here and he said "too long." - Call me crazy, but that translated means "unhappy" (doesn't it?). So I asked what his passion was and he replied construction/social service. Then he was done stacking up he left again. So tomorrow or the day after I will ask him another question - like what's his favorite movie. Did he check out the new X-Men movie? One question at a time.

Take Sue* the assistant (I'm not clear to what her actual title is) - you know those people in the company that knows every little detail? How to run each program, who works in which floor, who is present at which meeting - without these people other people get frantic. She's a sweet heart. A sweet ol' lady who has a cute black "weener-puppy" (as she likes to call it) and gets me lunch every day. She enjoys a good ol' laugh a little now and then - boy, can you hear her laughter! She admitted that at first, she was scared 'cuz she didn't have a degree and didn't think she was "smart" as everyone else, but once she settled in it was amusing to have so many people call/email her and depend on her. My past week wouldn't have been sane without this woman. She worked at another company for 30 years til she moved her. I want to ask her though - why not the degree? She's highly competent and sweet and a hard worker. Why Houston?

My favorite one is the Russian guy*. So of course he's tall, slender, has an accent and likes to crack up jokes (at least all my European friends are that way). I've never appreciated my exposure to other cultures - I take it for granted. I owe my parents a thank you - my experience with such cultures has made it so comfortable for me to ask random questions while not insulting the person. So he came to the States to study (unusual, for a European I must say), fell in love, got married, and now has a kid that is life. I laughed and said, "I bet your kid is beautiful. In high school, all the popular kids were mixed kids." And then he showed me some pictures (this is why I love getting to know people). Of course, as I figured, the kid was beautiful. We made a few jokes here and there about the corporate world, how there are so many redundancies and inefficient use of resources and how especially everybody on the floor lived busy, busy lives. He asked me stuff in return. How my internship was going, what I wanted to do - I didn't have exact answers for him, but I joked that I didn't want to work where I did now (in terms of the field) - just cuz I couldn't picture myself working 50 hour weeks. It was interesting to hear how he balanced work and family. It's incredible to me how people can compartmentalize and make such a huge impact for their co-workers and family.

The best part about today was one, my "project" or little assignment that was given to me - FINALLY got done. I look at what I've done these past days and it's amazing how time went by so fast.
First two days) Understanding jargon and concepts of what needed to be calculated
Day three) understanding how to get those formulas and calculations and who to get it from
Day four - five) setting up meetings, getting the data, double-checking the answers and finishing everything. It's crazy to think that this took four-five days. Maybe if I wasn't new it would have taken me three. But still - inefficient use of resources - this is why my mentor is coming up with an idea to use a software that does all the calculations for us - with one push of a button. I'm excited to be on board!
Two) By creating these new relationships with others - I'm more excited to go to work now! I really am. Now that I've had these short but "intimate" moments with fellow workers, just being in the same office space as them and saying things like, "Good Morning" or "Hi," just helps develop a natural, mutual bond, which I personally think it's beneficial to the unit's cohesiveness.

Now that I FINALLY settled (or at least I think I have), kinda think I know how to get around, a little less scared, and have set my expectations with my mentor -- I'm now more calm and eager to see where this experience takes me :)

Till I learn something new......

Oh one more thing: hearing a "great job" or "a job well done" is always nice. Don't expect it all the time, just work hard regardless. Cuz when you do hear such a compliment, you definitely feel that sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. That sense of accomplishment that you deserve :)

Ten Tricks

Forget school -
In the past five days,  I was able to make a mental note of what it takes to survive in a business world (*note: this does not apply to those in IT or science - you actually need to know your s***)


(1) Math: fast math. Calculating numbers in your head. Understanding mathematical concepts and equations. No, you don't need to know everything from Gaoculus but the more math you do in school - you're probably pushed a lot harder to adapt yourself into that unfamiliar territory.

(2) Accounting. I dropped it once. My friend dropped it three times. Everybody hates accounting - the least favorite hurdle to get to your business minor. But seriously - basic concepts needed. You'll be considered a dumbass if you don't know squat about income statements and cash flow.

(3) Excel. If you're more in the customer services, PS, accounting department - then all you really need is excel. If you've never heard of VLOOKUP, SUMIFS or COUNTIFS, well I suggest you either get cracking on it or go to a different field.

(4) Powerpoint. Presentations presentations presentations. Meetings meetings meetings. Corporate world thrives on clean, slick, to-the-point, quality powerpoints.

(5) Design. You might not need to know a lot about photoshop or creating fonts, but if you're contemplating about going into marketing or something familiar and want to work on the "cool stuff," learning a bit of photoshop and illustrator isn't a bad idea.

(6) Concepts & Theories of your field. Whether it's sales, marketing, pricing, business - every expert in the world has written something about your field. It's your job to choose the expert that your company adapts to - and then to read what that expert has to say. Understanding why your company does the things they do all come down to their philosophy - and usually it's derived from good ol' business theory (check out all the smart employees - they've got TONS of books in their cubicles).

(7) Knowing good food. Overworked people thrive on a good break every now and then. If you know anything about great quality restaurants or outings - they'll love you for suggesting such a great place!

(8) Organization. Be organized. If you aren't, you're kinda screwed. You don't have to be OCD, but people randomly ask for this and that and if you know where to get what in the shortest amount of time, you're being the most efficient one around. People will recognize you for that.

(9) Humility. If you're the hardest worker there, people will push you to your limits. People might overwork you. But best to be humble - goes for an exec too. Those that treat their subordinates as superiors- everybody respects and loves that person for such a trait.

(10) Social Skills. Know how to crack some jokes, laugh a little now and then, make everyone at ease in a frantic setting. Know how others work - who's impatient, who likes to brag, who likes to talk? etc. Don't be the one that people don't want to work with.

I think I encompass 7 and half of 8 and a third of 9.

So, you're the "RIce" intern?

As great as it is for you to be introduced to fellow executives and employees as the "Rice" intern - there's also a huge expectation that comes forth with such a standard. I found it a pleasant surprise to have experienced both living up to the "Rice intern" standard, as well as accepting the fact that it's okay to ask for help. 

So the day started with a meeting -- I was given a project! My very first project! I was so scared I could have peed my pants. The jargon factor is always scary but besides that I almost felt as if the people around me didn't trust me quite yet. They gave me all of this "advice" of how I should work as an intern - I was scared. Did I come across as incompetent? Are they doubtful? ... well of course there's DOUBT. You're an intern. You need to PROOVE you're worth their time.

So from there came more hurdles. The data set I was working on had errors. I had to find the answers to a 40 question survey to a company I just came into. I ran out of office supplies. My desk drawer wouldn't open. Who do I go to? Boy did I have fun with email and the phone today. I felt like Anne Hathaway in 'Devil Wears Prada' when she's running around everywhere in her designer clothes and heels ---> but I was wearing my blazer and zebra striped heels running around the different departments and figureing out who does what and who is the most friendly (although they all are) and who's the most available.

HR: just a great friendly bunch that will end up being my confidantes. 

Accounting: anything regarding stats. Set up a meeting with them for tomorrow actually. 

IT: computer problems. I always run into them. That's why I always told myself I need to marry someone who's technologically adept. 

Office Services: I LOVE these people. The most friendly bunch! One always stores the coffees and teas and the other always give me extra pushpins if needed. Who doesn't love office supplies? 

Marketing/Sales/PS: meetings meetings meetings. and more meetings. 

Everybody else: there's a whole bunch of them - but I just call them "the 10th floor bunch." 

Risk today: (1) Actually having the guts to tell my boss that there was something WRONG calculated. It took me the whole day to work up the courage to bring it up. (2) I was so scared to ask for help. I really wanted to seem like I knew what I was doing. And the people surrounding me are all execs so they're either in their cubicles or in meetings - why would I bother them? But once I asked help from the right people and made a mental note of who were experts at what, it got so much better. I felt like I was doing stuff on my own - setting up meetings on my own, settling in on my own, finishing up the project on my own - it felt real good. 

Looking forward to tomorrow: Absolutely? I have this assignment to finish by Friday so it's going to be work work work finish finish finish till then. Other than that I'm running a meeting tomorrow! How awesome. I really hope to finish this assignment and hand it in well - I'm worried of course because my presentation slides or finished excel slides can't be the exact same as others are used to, but I just hope I can go above and beyond to give the best effort that I can. I'm not as scared as I was before - having the belief that I can do it was half the battle. I'm excited for what lays ahead, it's as if the small fear lurking around helps me push myself even further to overcome that fear. 

Hmmm.. my blogs are getting too text heavy. Maybe I should take some pictures of my cubicle tomorrow. 

My feet hurt from the heels

Today was my first day of work. Mostly training and orientation stuff - nothing too much to fear... until I got into the meeting and took a mental note of all the business and software terminology I was completely oblivious to. I was recommended two books to read that would keep me up to date with what all of this jargon meant (mental note to self: I'm going to challenge myself through this - I'm going to be the best student there and study everything well so I become the boss of the subject matter). This is why in movies you have confused people buying [Blank] for Dummies. I was this close to google Pricing for Dummies. Advice I gave to myself was -> take Accounting next semester.

My mentor informed me I was going to start on a project tomorrow.
"How familiar are you with excel?" he asked.
"I'm quite competent," I replied.
"Do you know *&(#*~@$?" he asked.
"I'm sorry, I'm not sure I'm familiar with that one. 
"Do you know !*#&$^#@?" 
"Nope." 
"&$#!~*@?" 
"Nope." 
(Mental note #2: study excel)

3 o'clock hit already and by then everybody went to meetings. I stayed in my cubicle - first VERY hesitant to assist people for help I kinda did my own thing. Set up my own computer, account, checked email, logged in hours - all of that logistical stuff. I was sitting in a pool of older gentleman typing away on their computers with very focused, serious faces. All the more somewhat casually dressed folks were way down the hall. So I didn't want to come across as a bored child. I read a few pages of the recommended readings, made a to-do list -- including setting up an interview, lunch to discuss what our expectations are, etc. But I just couldn't help but feel like asking my mentors all these scheduling questions would have been bad timing. I'm trying to go with the flow- and today's flow was just "I'm busy." Everybody seems really nice and super chill tho so I'm excited about that. I can't wait to start the project tomorrow.

Challenges I faced today --- definitely not having much to do in the hours of 3-5, being asked mathematical questions in our training sessions.
Risks I took today --- talked to some intern-strangers, ask unfamiliar workers in my department whether they needed help, definitely taking initiative, not being hesitant to contribute in a meeting.
Looking forward to --- the project tomorrow, getting to sit down with my mentors to discuss our exceptions, getting to know more about the company, getting to know the interns, setting a high standard.

I AM SUPER TIRED. Been up for 18 hours and is not even 10. Good night and can't wait for what lies ahead!

The story behind a Phoenix

A phoenix, in my opinion, whether myth or true, is one of the most beautiful creatures to have been depicted in this world. A Phoenix is a sacred firebird with a vibrant plumage of gold and scarlet feathers. It lives to 500-1000 years, and when it's ready to die it builds itself a nest of twigs and burns fiercely to its demise. From its  ashes, however, a new baby phoenix arises, destined to live as long as its old self. 


A phoenix, in other words, depicts rebirth and renewal - things that we as humans long for more in life. We value this bird's ability to let go of its past and renew itself as it enters the future. We tell ourselves that we're reborn from our mistakes and failures, that poor decisions help us better ourselves as we face a new tomorrow. However, we forget that a phoenix's lifespan is only as good as its previous owner. The past, in other words, inevitably becomes the bird's future. The only difference lies in how the phoenix chooses to live in that same timeframe. 


I decided to create a blog under the name One Phoenix to see how I can renew myself this summer, without having to let go of my past. I've always thought the two were mutually exclusive. I'll be flying to South Korea for two weeks, before I come back to the scorching sun in Houston, TX to work. I want to pen down my thoughts, encounters and epiphanies that arise from my experiences. I want to discover myself spiritually, professionally and emotionally. Till I have something else to share...